I am thinking about how to present this information because it\u2019s really difficult sense there\u2019s so many moving parts and contradictions in my mind and uncertainty about where to go and how to go about doing whenever it is that is in front of me. Those of you who were with me will know something about what I went through that during the 2019 cancer and how I had planned for my death only waiting for enough strength to get out of my house and not subject my roommates to a rotting corpse. That episode was, for me, without a hyperbolic or dramatic bit in it was just simply fucked-up to the extreme. If you want to know more detail that can be found and the blog section cancer last time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A huge difference is that I went through it largely with the help of my two sisters who worked as wonderful, wonderful helpers and a friend of mine as well; but that doesn\u2019t compare at all to having my twin flame Diana here to go through what I need to go through, whatever that may be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what may that be? At the very least we are going to go through some weeks of radiating my brain. The oncologists here saying that there is likely to be no cognitive decline and it\u2019s likely that I should be able to continue to help those clients who are willing to let me work with them. Of course there\u2019s no expectation of any clients doing that and it would be totally reasonable for anybody to respond in any way that they see fit. But you will each get whatever amount of time and information from me as you require as has always been the case for whenever I am going through during challenging times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also have an abundance of very intelligent and knowledgeable people suggesting that I go on a particular diet that starves the cancer which will also emaciate me and likely cause cognitive challenges as well as more pain and fatigue and those things that I have actively avoided my entire life when they\u2019ve shown up. I watched my father wither away and vowed that I would never let that happen to me. It matters to me that I\u2019m not talking here about simply avoiding pain and clinging onto life but there are deeper issues I\u2019m grappling with that are at this point are too personal and unresolved for me to figure out much less put out in public.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For the oncologists the plan would be to see what happens with the radiation and then go with the whole serious chemo package. It may be that if I do the fasting (starving myself for weeks!) I won\u2019t give much of a fuck at that point, but it\u2019s in play, along with other options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile I am back on the \u201clooking death in the eye\u201d journey I have encountered far too often. So it\u2019s back to The Tibetan Book of the Dead , podcasts on taking the journey and related topics, meditation, pushing myself to exercise through the increasing pain and fatigue and seeing how this story plays out<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am thinking about how to present this information because it\u2019s really difficult sense there\u2019s so many moving parts and contradictions in my mind and uncertainty about where to go and how to go about doing whenever it is that is in front of me. Those of you who were with me will know something […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=168"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":169,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168\/revisions\/169"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.d-coda-blog.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}